That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
