He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
