Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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