just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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