Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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