Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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