I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
