so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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