Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
