Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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