He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize