At least make sure they are 18
Why
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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