Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
