I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
