remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
