I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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