Got a toothbrush?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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