I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
