i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
