4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
he just fucked me for my cheese..
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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