i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
