I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
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