You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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