Im at strip club and am horny
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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