i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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