I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
