On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
It's just like the Real World with babies
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize