Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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