You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
