your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
