At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Where are you guys?
Drunk
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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