Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Randomize
