Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
