You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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