pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
