I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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