Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!

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(520): View more from Arizona

I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.

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(313): View more from Michigan

Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.

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(904): View more from Florida

Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.

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(317): View more from Indiana

He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.

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(614): View more from Ohio

Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him

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(541): View more from Oregon

He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came

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(509): View more from Washington

There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.

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