the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
This house was built for laser tag.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
