I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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