My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
