Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
there was a trapeze. enough said
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
