I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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