She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
