if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize
