even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
