My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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