If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
