I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
