my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
