you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
