I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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