Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
