I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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