Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
