He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
