p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
