Define "chronic" masturbator.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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