Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
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